The Unemployed Truth

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Remember the darling Holly Golightly?

The real phoney of New York City that took herself to Tiffany’s window display anytime she had a “red day?”

I’ve been having my fair share of red days lately and I’m not really into believing a jewelry store will fix any of it. Maybe if I were there to successfully rob the place and head to Mexico…

Maybe then I’d be more inclined to visit the place.

No sparkling display is going to snap me out of the reality that I’m broke, jobless and in another slew of panic attacked mornings. When you can’t make rent and or cellphone payment your brain becomes a calculator of eternity. No matter what opportunities you uncover that little black cloud follows reminding you of the obvious.

You’re broke and bills are piling up, now what are you doing about it?

Unfortunately sending out over 70 resumes doesn’t quite put my mind at ease. I know I’m supposed to be patient but when you can’t leave your house because the grocery store doesn’t except I.O.U’s it’s a weight I can’t explain.

Although, through it all I won’t give up, because deep down, there is always foresight. There is always this vision that plays out if I just keep going. I’ve read about the persistence, the passion, and the patience it’s taken many other successful people to get to where they stand now.

It’s still fucking hard and anyone that tells you different is sniffing glue.

Being unemployed is a funny activity to take part in everyday, you do some weird shit when you’ve got nothing else to do. I get up usually with the hope that I’ll have a reply to the thousands of jobs I’ve applied to. Once the reality that no one gives a fuck about my ability to curate visuals sets in I then take to my couch.

There a lot of things you do when unemployed.

1. Attempt to make your resume “stand out” against the masses of other unemployed creatives. Maybe put in bold at the top MAGIC MONKEY NUTS to get their attention.

2. Creep the shit out of every company and it’s top employees on LinkedIn. If you’re really good you find them on Facebook with a recent Saturday night photo of them drunkenly pole dancing at the Hideout on Queen street.

Screen shot it and if things get real bad use it as leverage, it’s a dog eat dog world out there.

3. Update your website of any new and obviously pro bono work you’ve done.
I wonder if lawyers ever stage court hearings in their living room with other unemployed lawyers and judges like photographers and Stylist do?

4. Walk over to your fridge for the 100th time to make sure your food hasn’t moved places and that mouldy thing in a Tupperware container is still in fact really gross.

5. Have every job searching platform open on your computer and strongly debate applying to bottle girl jobs at night clubs with names like “TRA$E” or “Liquid night club”. Only because you know you’d make your rent, bills, and a possible vacation in one night of putting up with a sea of douche bags revved on G and Patron.

6. Call your parents and tell them casually that your landlord is coming to shoot out your knee caps so you won’t be joining them for Sunday dinner. Immediately following you check your bank account to see if they fell for your pitiful cry for help.

They didn’t because you’re an “adult” now.

7. While checking your almost empty bank account you see a glimmer of hope in the form of a government deposit of 60 dollars. You then hit the grocery store and wine wrack as you haven’t actually been outside in two days.

8. Go home and tell yourself you won’t open the wine until you send out 10 more resumes.

9. You open the wine and find out that hoarders is now on Netflix and applying to that knitting store can seriously go fuck itself.

You worked hard today, it’s drink to forget time.

To all my unemployed compadres I am with you, we must stand together in these long days of randomness and uncertainties. We must all support each other and regale in stories of weird new hobbies we’ve taken up to have something to talk about with friends.

We are all together on this…

Unless I see you at a job interview, then I’m slipping laxatives into your coffee when you’re not looking.

Dog eat dog world.

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Lonely City

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Now this is going to seem like a complete switch from my post earlier this week (read here) but don’t take the title as a bad thing. When I started freelancing and left my “normal” day job I struggled with being alone, father down the line I became single and had to deal with being completely alone. It was, and still is a hard thing to get used to, however I’ve learned that if your not comfortable with yourself then your really never comfortable.
A photographer friend of mine who has recently become freelance was expressing the frustration of being on everyone’s opposite schedule. It’s tough because while everyone else is working 9 to 5 you are either sitting at a cafe planning out your shoot weeks, pre shoot buying and curating, or on set until the wee hours of the morning. I know for me during the week all my friends are in bed by 10pm (except for when I can convince them to sleep when their dead).
It’s a lonely transition but I’ve certainly become a lot more comfortable and happy with being alone, I have my bad days still and that’s fine. I work through them, I write and journal where I ask myself questions that I normally, on the go, wouldn’t bring up with myself. I take myself out to lunch or dinner and catch up on reading, I try and not distract myself with my cell phone, and I exercise or run to keep my head clear. The main thing is to constantly be aware of yourself, being alone can be a negative if you just sit around and think about sad things, or lonely, or self destructive thoughts of “I should be doing this” or “Everyone else is happier because” these types of thoughts are Napalm for your mind.
Stay positive, embrace the beauty of just being one and that you are doing everything for yourself. Being in Styling has shown me all the amazing creative people that are doing the same thing, embracing loneliness because of a passion for themselves. My mentor told me once that we are forever alone in our body so why not make it a happy and comfortable place to be? That’s just it, once I realized that I’m always alone in my life and that nobody will change it, live it, and feel it for me, that’s when I decided to go for my passions in life and stop being afraid.
Like I said, I still get frustrated, sad, and negative but I try and stay aware of those feelings and work through them so that my creative work stays positive. Just know that you are 100% in charge of your life and it’s nobodies fault but your own if you are unhappy, you can always change what is bad to good, you just have to want it for yourself.

Happy Friday Lovelies

– Casey Jane

Friday Tunes

Neil Young – Harvest Moon
Feist – Lonely Lonely
Wilco – Far Far Away

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This is from a comedy show called The Short Notice show that I went to this week, if your in Toronto I suggest looking them up on Facebook and coming to the next one, you’ll laugh your face off.