The Night Casey Jane Entered Stage Left and The Symphony Was Drunk.

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Enter stage left Ms Casey Jane sauntering into a bar after drinking a reverends wife’s yearly supply of wine. Thats 2 bottles and a magnum if you are wondering.The magnum is only when she holds her yearly Tupperware party with the ladies from her knitting club. Agnes is a REAL lush bag when they get into a biblical debate.We however drank all this before midnight, I even wore heels. Mainly because I wore them all day with no socks and didn’t want to alert the authorities that a dead body had been dumped on Queen West.

Entourage enters stage left consisting of one life partner named Justin Edwards. My incredible gay go getter that makes me feel like I’m fucking queen of the world, I also occasionally buy him brunch.
Its a rule between gay/straight life partners.
He took to the party like a conductor at a symphony and left on a man hunt faster than the road runner did when the coyote was getting too close. He’s also designing my apartment so he’s pretty much the full package and he’s mine you cant have him!

Our love is immaculate.

Anyway, I walked in thinking I would spend my time yelling derogatory slurs at my bar tending roommate. I thought I would sit down next to Meghan and get slapped and told how much she loved me. Hell I thought I would end up hammered in front of my oven cursing at it to make my pizza pockets faster.

And then, as if it was as natural as anything I sat down next to him.

Have you ever forgotten something? Like completely? Then out of the blue someone says something, shows you something or just is something and you wonder how you ever forgot it?

Funny isn’t it.

Over on Berkeley St I’ve become in love with putting my key in the door of my office every morning. Turning on the music, the lights, and now that spring is here opening the door to let the long awaited breeze flow in. The guys play fooseball late afternoon while the girls sit around our lounge area talking about escorts and prostitutes over lunch. We’re an amazing bunch that are creating extremely great work. The prostitute conversation expanded because of a mutual love for Pretty Woman, I mean Richard Gere…
COME ON!
I’d totally allow kissing.

Creative meetings, pitches, hallway conversations, conference calls filled with laughing and ideas. Our office is alive and I couldn’t be happier with where I am in life right now.

The homestead is still filled with the insanities of Casey and Tim trying to adult. We found out we have mice, so thats been fun. I keep naming them and then making a personal relationship with them, only I hate them.

Its hate.

Its a hate relationship.

Fred’s the worst cause he just sits in my kitchen staring at me like a smug fuck head.

The girls and I spent saturday getting day drunk and going to our friend Evely’s birthday party. We met for brunch and after the waitress feared we were getting sober poured us each a glass of wine all the way to the top. We ended up buying a birthday present consisting of a plant named Stuart McDick, a bouquet of Pussy Willows and a 4L box of white wine.

Looking back on it now its not a surprise the three of us ended up in a kiddy park trying to drive pedal cars…

Thats what the warm weather brings around here, well not belligerent females defacing a children’s playground. It just brings out life a little more, it brings people together longer and more intimate. My heart sings a lot louder when the sun hits my face when I crash out of my apartment at the start of the day. Warm weather means later nights in parks, longer sits on patios and backyard get togethers that make me you smile from the inside out. It also reminds me every single day I open my deer in headlight eyes that…

I am one lucky fucking bitch.

Spring is here Toronto.

Thanks for reading loves.

Tunes

Lord Huron – Meet Me In The Woods  My favourite album right now, in the words of my dear Kmo “Its my fucking favourite.”

Andy Shauf – Hometown Hero

Lord Huron – Luisa         Again, My fucking favourite.

Leon Bridges – River

Father John Misty – When You’re Smiling and Astride Me

Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors – American Beauty 

27 Things You Can Still Do When You’re 27

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Recently my best friend Kmo posted this article “27 things you MUST say goodbye to at 27” and it sparked a rage inside me that I haven’t felt since my convenience store switched their pizza pocket brand to McCain.
Having my own blog and being 27 I have decided to retaliate against this writer who clearly has an extensive Cosmo magazine collection and found her sexuality through a tampon commercial.

Unfortunately you will need to read her list before mine for dramatic effect and hilarity.

Without further hesitation I give you Casey Janes’ 27 things you ARE still doing at 27 and it’s ok.

1. Bagels? Really? You brought the holiest (pun intended) breakfast food into being 27? I ate 3 sandwiches last night in less than 2 hours at 10pm and felt the sweet freedom of being an adult. And how DARE you smite cream cheese, it is the spread of the gods!
Your body is still young enough to work that out and have an incredible morning poop story to text to your girlfriends/guyfriends.

2. One day birthday? You know who has one day birthdays? My dad because he’s 56 and gets so hammered that he has to put a restraining order out on himself from his liver.
Oh, and that guy on University Ave that yells about Armageddon.
That guy still thinks it’s the year 1300.
You have every right to ruin your best friends lives for a week for the sake of getting older.

3. “Just because” vacations are over.
I don’t know if this woman met all her friends at a bridal show or a country club but I’m calling bullshit on this one.
Actually I’m calling bullshit on the whole article but that’s beside the point.
I recently got back from a 26 day European trip that cost me $1800 dollars and only $188 of that was spent on accommodation. It was amazing, it was hilarious and I plan on traveling to LA in March. I am also a bridesmaid in 2 weddings and each bride gets shit faced drunk in animal onesies at my place twice a month.

4. I’m sorry, babies?
Half of us are still using Tinder as a delivery service while the other half are trying to remember if we have enough in our savings account to buy wine for the night.

5. Is this woman some weird estrogen werewolf? When the lights come on does she instantly grow hair out of every orifice and start drooling?
I’ve partied with people in their 30’s who are the last ones at the 24 hr pho restaurant debating having a game of Catan and smoking weed. I look forward to Saturday bed picnics and multiple naps.
BECAUSE IM AN ADULT AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!
Also I’m no treat at 2am when the lights come on but you better believe I give ZERO fucks about my physical appearance.

6,7,8. Tell that to my bank account and Anne Taylor? Really? Might as well just sew your vagina up and pick a husband out of the line at the Staples business depot around the corner.

9. If I want to put a bejewelled head band on and drop MDMA at a music festival in Barrie I will.
I.
Will.

10. Who the fuck wears rainbow sandals?

11. Ooooooooooo somebody didn’t get into that law school they told everyone they were going to.

12. The only reason, ONLY reason I don’t wear white is because I can’t afford dry cleaning and red wine and pizza sauce stains are a bitch to get out.

13. Yes Tweens are indeed taking over midnight movies everywhere, it’s a real epidemic. Although they are the perfect scape goat when the theatre attendant tries to catch you drinking a tetra pack of Chardonnay.
“It OBVIOUSLY belongs to the 16 year old, officer.”
“Mam, I’m not an officer and you still have the straw in your mouth.”

14. VERY SERIOUS CAREER…
Here I’ll get serious, very serious.
Never stop exploring your options, never think that how you are evolving in your career depends on a formula. The most successful people I know started off doing one thing that lead to something they absolutely love. There is no race you need to win and you can certainly have fun while building a successful fulfilling career.
Also don’t forget to live, a lot of us think we need to shut ourselves off and put all our attention to our career. I have been one of those and you miss out on a lot of moments and opportunities.
It’s all about balance.

15. What old white man parties is this lady going to?

16. What I want to know is what is your standard of “ratty?”
Last summer I wore a pair of my roommates black satin underwear and a bikini top that I bought at a Target in Pennsylvania.
I still got laid.

17. YOU CANT TAKE BACKSTREET BOYS AWAY FROM ME!!!

18. Hey if I’m doubled over my toilet because of day old Indian food, I have every right to be late for my doctors appointment.
I’m actually doing him a favour, I’m like a modern day Mother Theresa.

19. My mother and I fight about who that actor was in that movie that had the thing happen in it.
It is a glorious spectacle and I would never give that up.

20. I can’t afford cable so…

21. I don’t have a grudge, they were legit idiots.

22. Unless I have a date or my roommate comments on my appearance I am ok with going 2 days without showering. These are usually the days I spend watching hours of CSI Miami while job hunting on my couch.

23. NO! You do not bring themed parties into this!
As my readers know I have monthly costume parties at my place and I will continue this tradition until I’m dead. I look forward to the day my kids come home and find me and their aunts dressed like cowboy flapper girls singing Dolly Parton’s 9-5.

24. I read the news…that Marmaduke, he kills me.

25. But then how are you supposed to laugh at her when he says he’s married?

26. Oh yea cause adding each photo at a time is totally better.

27. Just remember ladies, Keggles count as your daily exercise.

Thanks for reading and remember, you are still young and there is nothing you should or should not be doing at any age.
Well…
Maybe pooping yourself, if you’re 27 and pooping yourself I think you have bigger problems than this list.

Tunes

Dolly Parton – Nine to Five
Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way
Father John Misty – Chateau #4 (In C for Two Virgins)

European log 002: Berlin

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I just woke up in a sea of my two cowl scarves on a train in the middle of the German country side. Completely delirious, sleep deprived, and dealing with a butt cramp and a uterus that seems to be mimicking the gates of hell.

Berlin is over and Paris is somewhere between wherever here is and wherever there might be.

I sit here as Liz folds herself over and over again in her seat to gain a little more sleep before a train change in about an hour. I’ve opted to write insanities and my reflection on the German city we just spent ten days in instead.

Seems like the logical thing when your brain has no filter right?

Berlin took a bit to warm up to, it’s a hard city filled with graffiti, remnants of intense political history, and beer bottles literally everywhere. Smoking is a normality and the mere thought of a health risk is looked upon with a scoff only the Germans could pull off. It’s got a sense of rebellious freedom that reminds you that this city was once, not long ago, under war with itself.

On our second day we were taken to a party in a building of what seemed like a industrial highway. We got up to the spray painted metal doors being causally guarded by a man that looked like he fought bears for fun. He explained quickly that we would be searched and what to expect. I could here the booming of deep electronic music coming from inside. The walls were dirty, there was smoke billowing in every direction, and I began wondering what the fuck I was about to experience.

We turned the corner and I was immediately hit with scenes from True Detective when they sneak into that underground biker gang party. Only instead of bikers picture drugged out gay guys in every kind of outfit you could imagine. Bondage, drag, punk, metal, goth, and the infamous vogue look.

Needless to say I sat on a bench and chained smoked while wondering if Berlin was going to be this every night. I partied really hard when I was younger, I’ve done the drug scene, I’ve done the 24 hour partying. I was not about to revisit those days of bug eyed drug glory thinking I was Queen of the world while discussing the universe with my friend naked in a bath tub.

It didn’t end up being that at all and Liz and I realized it on day three when we were met with a relaxing market day and outdoor karaoke. Our lovely host Benji, originally from France, took good care of us. We got the whole spectrum of living in Berlin and the social history and culture of its mid twenty year olds.

What can I say I learned on this trip so far?

I’m really fucking good at adapting and as long as I’m experiencing true life and not dealing with dramatic idiocies I’m unstoppable. There have been moments where I’ve had to remind myself of patience, I’ve had to remind myself of honesty and that everything does indeed happen for a reason.

I’m not a complainer and therefore it’s pretty easy to bring me anywhere. I’ve adapted to eating mainly vegetarian and vegan as my travel companion is pretty strict on her diet. I’ve embraced the concept of couch surfing which has turned out to be an incredible aspect of this trip. I’ve learned to leave my ego at the door and except help when I really needed it even if I fought hard not to admit it. Most of all though I’ve been very good at knowing my limitations and when to give myself time, space, and rest.

If I didn’t learn the last three things I think this trip would have lost it’s lustre back in Holland. I’m not about to run myself into the ground because I’m in Europe and feel the need to see everything.

I’ll see what I’m meant to see and above anything this is a vacation which should be little to no stress involved. I’ve certainly have had to remind myself of that a few times. I don’t think I’ve properly given myself a vacation in the last two years so it’s been strange to not have to worry about much. Our main concern most days is where to buy cheap wine and how many bizarre and hilarious tinder matches Liz can get.

It’s been interesting seeing our different lifestyles collide and run parallel throughout this trip. We are both incredibly different but in the same way have so many similarities. I’m a house cat that needs my down time, I need to reflect and I move at a calm slow pace most of the time. Liz is an ally cat, she’s needs the night life and sometimes I feel like I can actually feel her brain moving at the speed of light. It’s something that works both ways and we both, luckily, have the loving eyes to see that in each other.

Don’t get me wrong there have been times when we’ve needed to get away from each other, there’s been times where feelings have been hurt, and there have been times of different prerogatives. I’ve just realized we are both strong enough women to handle balancing our independent qualities with teamwork.

Paris is our next and final stop on this 26 day adventure and I’m excited to sit on my little balcony and get incredibly day drunk. I’m excited to go for long walks on my own and have a latte by the river. This is last blast of relaxation. The last thing I want to do is stand in a cue to watch a bunch of Asian tourist snap photos of a less than impressive Mona Lisa.

Seriously she’s like the size of a fucking postcard…

I want to get lost on cobblestone streets and get yelled at by an old Parisian woman for no apparent reason. I want to witness men peeing into sewer grates and whistling at the beautiful women riding their bikes dressed better than any Toronto Fashion Week attendee.

And then I want to go home, back to the job I love, back to the amazing friends and family I have. I want to go back with ease and harness the inspiration I’ve obtained from this trip. I can’t wait to go back to a relationship that has only become stronger during my time here. I’m ready to take my career to the next step and reach a new level of focus.

This trip has been everything I could have asked for and it’s rewarding to know that it’ll always be apart of my life and my story. Travel is now a big part of my life and a very important one. I plan on doing it as much as possible in the next coming years.

That’s a promise I’ve made to myself.

With that I’m off to catch another train across the Parisian country side and to hopefully stretch out my butt cramp.

Thanks for reading lovelies

Tunes (listened to this whole record while on the train strongly recommended)

Vance Joy – Mess is Mine
Vance Joy – Georgia
Vance Joy – My Kind of Man
Vance Joy – Wasted Time

I’m having a 2014 Orgasm

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So it’s a new year, I got to shut the door on the hardest year of my life and I’m proud of it. I can look back and actually see how far I’ve gone with the mindset of doing what I want and having what I want in life. It’s been hard, no it’s been harder than hard, it’s been like trying to crack a diamond. I know there’s harder years to come but I feel like I’ve really gone through the foundation of what my life’s purpose is and what I want. I’m open to change but I really got to know myself this year on so many levels, some days I didn’t believe who’s head I was in. Mind you those days ended in me crumpled on my floor surrounded by fabric wondering when I’d be taken away to an institution…ok exaggeration however in my head that’s the picture that forms.
I also learned how important your friends are and the company you keep around you. I gained so many amazing friends last year and deepened those who have been with me for years. I was so blown away by the creative and positive people around me all I wanted to do was constantly give my love back. I learned about how many different friendships you can have and how special each one is, I don’t take one for granted because in some way it shaped who I am now. It’s funny how the ones that were always meant to be in your life just easily are, even if time passes they’ll always come back like it didn’t. I’ve had a lot of crazy moments where the right people showed up at the exact right time, I can recall every one of them and they’ve made me believe that things really do happen for all the right reasons.
You just have to let them.
This year is my launch pad year, I’ve built the foundation and now I need to apply all that to the career I’m going to make a living at and a good one. This year I learned a lot of skills, my sewing ability has tripled thanks to Keira (Handsome&Lace) and my wardrobe work, my creativity is at an all time high, like Salvador Dali when he had his throwing cats phase…
I don’t want to fuck this year up, I certainly don’t want to continue making the same mistakes and I’m determined to catch myself before any irrational decision especially in the finance department. It’s terrifying when you get to another level in life because you build this inner pressure for yourself to not fail. I’m kinda the master at failing elegantly until I can shut the door of my room and cry with a lit cigarette. Failing is learning and its going to happen but as I’ve learned you can stop the same mistakes from happening if you take time to figure out why you did it, why it happened. Having a journal constantly in my bag has been an incredible reference for myself and a great downloading device. Writing takes those little or big dreams you have and makes them slowly come alive, it affirms them and kinda makes them a little more real every time. Think of it like making money, you don’t just think about it, you go out and earn it and its the same with making your wants and needs come true. You have to make it happen and the best way is to just start writing exactly what it is you want. For me I find I have too much going on in my head at all times so writing lets me take the thoughts that are either occurring or are literally thoughts that make me the happiest to think about.
So here’s the magic part that ill share with you. Last year when I knew I would be going through a lot of change I wrote down some goals that I thought would push me to be a better me, as you do come New Years. I wrote a bunch of things down but here’s the really cool part, as of last month I crossed all these off as accomplished.
Goal number one was to start assisting under a freelance stylist and I did that.
Goal number two was to get my own place downtown, well come August I found the best place with my best pal Kate.
Goal number three was to style with a Canadian designer named Laura Siegel and yup, that happened.
Goal four was to work wardrobe on a concert, I was backstage…well under the stage at the Taylor Swift concert dressing all her dancers for 3 nights.
Goal five was to get published and in just one year I have been published over 8 times in online and print publications.
Goal six was rely on myself and be independent, that took awhile but I’m happy to say that these days I’m a pretty good solo trail blazer.
Goal seven was to meet with the CEO of Holt Renfrew to gain some insight and I can happily say that I not only met him I still get little emails of encouragement from him.
And lastly I wanted to be Stylist on a music video, this took the longest but just last month I was hired to style a Down With Webster music video that will be aired on Much Music and MTV Canada.

So there’s your proof, all these things that happened were all from me sitting on my empty apartment floor with a blank piece of sketch paper writing each one out. I remember thinking I was crazy, and sighing about how lovely it would be if these things could be true. Now I obviously worked my ass off but having these goals in my mind literally attracted them to my life, I didn’t strategically seek out each goal. I just kept growing and kept doing things that I wanted to do, I would literally wake up some mornings just holding things in my mind and sure enough I would get an email, a phone call, or a text that had the very next step. All I had to do was say yes, forget about the fear, forget my insecurities and just do it. There were a lot of times where I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, there were a lot of times where I thought I was on the right path but got the rude awakening that I wasn’t. The thing is I never stopped, I never gave up, even when I was flat broke and couldn’t pay my rent. I remember some gigs I wouldn’t have enough money to even get there so I’d wake up extra early, pack my suitcase and walk to whatever studio I’d have to be at because nothing was going to stop me. I’ve always let money dictate who I am and what I can do but after this year…well it’s just such a silly thought now. You can do it, you just have to want it badly enough, you have to need it, nothing standing in your way is a brick wall that you can’t climb over. I’ve been at part time jobs where I’ve walked across the city to get to and not been able to eat all day but I did my job because I knew that all of it would be worth it one day, and it is.

So that’s my New Years advice to you, keep going, make goals and know that literally anything is possible. I want to thank all my dearest friends for their constant support and love, without them I wouldn’t have been able to push myself so hard.
Kate, Meghan, Sarah, Cat, Shaina, Branko, Gooding thank you for being my rocks and my extended family and believing in me even when I didn’t. Tyler, Aaron, Pat, Joel, Shawna, and Brook thank you for bringing me into your circle and giving me the most hilarious and exciting summer. I remember the first bellwoods croquet game I came to and not only did you all offer me a drink I ended up skinny dipping with all of you that night.
And a big thank you to my parents for constantly supporting me, never in my life has either of them shot down a dream I had, never have they enforced anything on me other then my values, love for others and the idea that I can really do anything I put my mind too. This year I got to photograph both my mum and my dad on two different occasions and to have them be involved in my work makes me the happiest daughter in the world!
To my work friends who made all the difference in my styling skills, contacts and experiences you are the foundations of what my career is developing into. Kirsten White you above all gave me my first break as a stylist and I will NEVER forget that day you called me and not only hired me but gave me exactly what I needed to know to do a good job. Marie Eve Tremblay for taking me on for 6 months and literally putting me through assistant boot camp, I would not have the work drive and passion I have now if it wasn’t for you. Laura DiMarcantonio for taking me on as your assistant and teaching me on set etiquette and what is expected of me. Patrick Lacsina and Amanda Blair Robson for being the very first creative I’ve ever done, you two have been so good to me and I love all the work we’ve created together this year. Bri and Britt of Jane & Jane for constantly blowing my mind with your creativity and excitement whenever we have a project together, you two always inspire me to be better and more creative. Thomas Dagg for talking shop with me, bringing me on a short film, photographing my dad while sailing and showing me that I can indeed get my photo taken. Julie and Brianna for helping me put together my mums modelling portfolio, you girls have no idea how much that shoot meant to me and my mum. Erin Heather for being an amazing make up artist and having many late night chats about the industry and making me feel like I wasn’t alone as an artist. Joe at Fresh Collective for being such an amazing person to work with, spending 8 hours with you singing Wilson Phillips songs and making hilarious jokes has been a highlight for me. Getting a part time job seemed like a step backwards at first but fuck am I ever glad I ended up with you. And of corse Keira of Handsome & Lace for hiring me at such an amazing time for your business. I remember the first day we worked together in your studio, we laughed the whole time, had some inspiring deep conversations about life and the importance of doing what you want to do. You are by far the biggest drive these days and whenever I get down I think, man I bet Keira would just hop on her sewing machine and keep going and then I follow suit.
I want nothing but success to everyone I have ever worked for and with, I want all of us in 5 years to look back and be astounded and proud at all the hard work and passion we put into our own careers. I hope I know and work with all of you time and time again and we get to a point where we can all pay each other top dollars for our talents.
And last but not least to everyone that reads this blog, it’s changed so much over the past year and half now and I’m really happy with what it’s evolved into. I hope that through my fuck ups, rants, raves, and opinions some of you feel less crazy and alone in the world because your not. Not many people like to talk about the hard stuff, they focus on the pretty pictures and on the surface success but I really wanted to show people that life isn’t like that and things don’t just happen. I’ve read a lot of blogs that seem to paint this beautiful picture that their lives are full of free gifts, clothing, trips and wonderful things but underneath all that are people that have really pushed themselves to live the life they want. I just happen to show the gritty shit, the break downs, the drinking sprees, and the constant self doubt of being an artist. I’ve gained more readers in the past couple months since I’ve taken the honesty route and I couldn’t be happier. Sometimes it’s really hard putting myself on this because I really can’t control who reads it, but then again maybe I needed that to really stop caring what people think. I have the people I want around me in life and I’m unapologetic about what I write on here because its real, I don’t lie and I don’t make up shit just to get followers. It’s funny how a person could literally follow my entire life last year just by reading through this blog. I’ve had moments where people have come up to me at parties and hugged me because of something I wrote about which is a pretty crazy thing, but I love it and I goon out over it.

So here’s to 2014, the year I make my bitch!

I love you all, your all Honey Bears in my book!

P.S
Top four of Handsome&Lace photos care of Jane&Jane Photography
Picture of my mum care of Modelight photography
Two of me dancing and Branko and Tyler hugging care of Keiran Meyn photography