The Night Casey Jane Entered Stage Left and The Symphony Was Drunk.

unnamed unnamed (1) unnamed (2) unnamed (3) unnamed (4)SMASH…

Enter stage left Ms Casey Jane sauntering into a bar after drinking a reverends wife’s yearly supply of wine. Thats 2 bottles and a magnum if you are wondering.The magnum is only when she holds her yearly Tupperware party with the ladies from her knitting club. Agnes is a REAL lush bag when they get into a biblical debate.We however drank all this before midnight, I even wore heels. Mainly because I wore them all day with no socks and didn’t want to alert the authorities that a dead body had been dumped on Queen West.

Entourage enters stage left consisting of one life partner named Justin Edwards. My incredible gay go getter that makes me feel like I’m fucking queen of the world, I also occasionally buy him brunch.
Its a rule between gay/straight life partners.
He took to the party like a conductor at a symphony and left on a man hunt faster than the road runner did when the coyote was getting too close. He’s also designing my apartment so he’s pretty much the full package and he’s mine you cant have him!

Our love is immaculate.

Anyway, I walked in thinking I would spend my time yelling derogatory slurs at my bar tending roommate. I thought I would sit down next to Meghan and get slapped and told how much she loved me. Hell I thought I would end up hammered in front of my oven cursing at it to make my pizza pockets faster.

And then, as if it was as natural as anything I sat down next to him.

Have you ever forgotten something? Like completely? Then out of the blue someone says something, shows you something or just is something and you wonder how you ever forgot it?

Funny isn’t it.

Over on Berkeley St I’ve become in love with putting my key in the door of my office every morning. Turning on the music, the lights, and now that spring is here opening the door to let the long awaited breeze flow in. The guys play fooseball late afternoon while the girls sit around our lounge area talking about escorts and prostitutes over lunch. We’re an amazing bunch that are creating extremely great work. The prostitute conversation expanded because of a mutual love for Pretty Woman, I mean Richard Gere…
COME ON!
I’d totally allow kissing.

Creative meetings, pitches, hallway conversations, conference calls filled with laughing and ideas. Our office is alive and I couldn’t be happier with where I am in life right now.

The homestead is still filled with the insanities of Casey and Tim trying to adult. We found out we have mice, so thats been fun. I keep naming them and then making a personal relationship with them, only I hate them.

Its hate.

Its a hate relationship.

Fred’s the worst cause he just sits in my kitchen staring at me like a smug fuck head.

The girls and I spent saturday getting day drunk and going to our friend Evely’s birthday party. We met for brunch and after the waitress feared we were getting sober poured us each a glass of wine all the way to the top. We ended up buying a birthday present consisting of a plant named Stuart McDick, a bouquet of Pussy Willows and a 4L box of white wine.

Looking back on it now its not a surprise the three of us ended up in a kiddy park trying to drive pedal cars…

Thats what the warm weather brings around here, well not belligerent females defacing a children’s playground. It just brings out life a little more, it brings people together longer and more intimate. My heart sings a lot louder when the sun hits my face when I crash out of my apartment at the start of the day. Warm weather means later nights in parks, longer sits on patios and backyard get togethers that make me you smile from the inside out. It also reminds me every single day I open my deer in headlight eyes that…

I am one lucky fucking bitch.

Spring is here Toronto.

Thanks for reading loves.

Tunes

Lord Huron – Meet Me In The Woods  My favourite album right now, in the words of my dear Kmo “Its my fucking favourite.”

Andy Shauf – Hometown Hero

Lord Huron – Luisa         Again, My fucking favourite.

Leon Bridges – River

Father John Misty – When You’re Smiling and Astride Me

Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors – American Beauty 

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I’m having a 2014 Orgasm

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So it’s a new year, I got to shut the door on the hardest year of my life and I’m proud of it. I can look back and actually see how far I’ve gone with the mindset of doing what I want and having what I want in life. It’s been hard, no it’s been harder than hard, it’s been like trying to crack a diamond. I know there’s harder years to come but I feel like I’ve really gone through the foundation of what my life’s purpose is and what I want. I’m open to change but I really got to know myself this year on so many levels, some days I didn’t believe who’s head I was in. Mind you those days ended in me crumpled on my floor surrounded by fabric wondering when I’d be taken away to an institution…ok exaggeration however in my head that’s the picture that forms.
I also learned how important your friends are and the company you keep around you. I gained so many amazing friends last year and deepened those who have been with me for years. I was so blown away by the creative and positive people around me all I wanted to do was constantly give my love back. I learned about how many different friendships you can have and how special each one is, I don’t take one for granted because in some way it shaped who I am now. It’s funny how the ones that were always meant to be in your life just easily are, even if time passes they’ll always come back like it didn’t. I’ve had a lot of crazy moments where the right people showed up at the exact right time, I can recall every one of them and they’ve made me believe that things really do happen for all the right reasons.
You just have to let them.
This year is my launch pad year, I’ve built the foundation and now I need to apply all that to the career I’m going to make a living at and a good one. This year I learned a lot of skills, my sewing ability has tripled thanks to Keira (Handsome&Lace) and my wardrobe work, my creativity is at an all time high, like Salvador Dali when he had his throwing cats phase…
I don’t want to fuck this year up, I certainly don’t want to continue making the same mistakes and I’m determined to catch myself before any irrational decision especially in the finance department. It’s terrifying when you get to another level in life because you build this inner pressure for yourself to not fail. I’m kinda the master at failing elegantly until I can shut the door of my room and cry with a lit cigarette. Failing is learning and its going to happen but as I’ve learned you can stop the same mistakes from happening if you take time to figure out why you did it, why it happened. Having a journal constantly in my bag has been an incredible reference for myself and a great downloading device. Writing takes those little or big dreams you have and makes them slowly come alive, it affirms them and kinda makes them a little more real every time. Think of it like making money, you don’t just think about it, you go out and earn it and its the same with making your wants and needs come true. You have to make it happen and the best way is to just start writing exactly what it is you want. For me I find I have too much going on in my head at all times so writing lets me take the thoughts that are either occurring or are literally thoughts that make me the happiest to think about.
So here’s the magic part that ill share with you. Last year when I knew I would be going through a lot of change I wrote down some goals that I thought would push me to be a better me, as you do come New Years. I wrote a bunch of things down but here’s the really cool part, as of last month I crossed all these off as accomplished.
Goal number one was to start assisting under a freelance stylist and I did that.
Goal number two was to get my own place downtown, well come August I found the best place with my best pal Kate.
Goal number three was to style with a Canadian designer named Laura Siegel and yup, that happened.
Goal four was to work wardrobe on a concert, I was backstage…well under the stage at the Taylor Swift concert dressing all her dancers for 3 nights.
Goal five was to get published and in just one year I have been published over 8 times in online and print publications.
Goal six was rely on myself and be independent, that took awhile but I’m happy to say that these days I’m a pretty good solo trail blazer.
Goal seven was to meet with the CEO of Holt Renfrew to gain some insight and I can happily say that I not only met him I still get little emails of encouragement from him.
And lastly I wanted to be Stylist on a music video, this took the longest but just last month I was hired to style a Down With Webster music video that will be aired on Much Music and MTV Canada.

So there’s your proof, all these things that happened were all from me sitting on my empty apartment floor with a blank piece of sketch paper writing each one out. I remember thinking I was crazy, and sighing about how lovely it would be if these things could be true. Now I obviously worked my ass off but having these goals in my mind literally attracted them to my life, I didn’t strategically seek out each goal. I just kept growing and kept doing things that I wanted to do, I would literally wake up some mornings just holding things in my mind and sure enough I would get an email, a phone call, or a text that had the very next step. All I had to do was say yes, forget about the fear, forget my insecurities and just do it. There were a lot of times where I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, there were a lot of times where I thought I was on the right path but got the rude awakening that I wasn’t. The thing is I never stopped, I never gave up, even when I was flat broke and couldn’t pay my rent. I remember some gigs I wouldn’t have enough money to even get there so I’d wake up extra early, pack my suitcase and walk to whatever studio I’d have to be at because nothing was going to stop me. I’ve always let money dictate who I am and what I can do but after this year…well it’s just such a silly thought now. You can do it, you just have to want it badly enough, you have to need it, nothing standing in your way is a brick wall that you can’t climb over. I’ve been at part time jobs where I’ve walked across the city to get to and not been able to eat all day but I did my job because I knew that all of it would be worth it one day, and it is.

So that’s my New Years advice to you, keep going, make goals and know that literally anything is possible. I want to thank all my dearest friends for their constant support and love, without them I wouldn’t have been able to push myself so hard.
Kate, Meghan, Sarah, Cat, Shaina, Branko, Gooding thank you for being my rocks and my extended family and believing in me even when I didn’t. Tyler, Aaron, Pat, Joel, Shawna, and Brook thank you for bringing me into your circle and giving me the most hilarious and exciting summer. I remember the first bellwoods croquet game I came to and not only did you all offer me a drink I ended up skinny dipping with all of you that night.
And a big thank you to my parents for constantly supporting me, never in my life has either of them shot down a dream I had, never have they enforced anything on me other then my values, love for others and the idea that I can really do anything I put my mind too. This year I got to photograph both my mum and my dad on two different occasions and to have them be involved in my work makes me the happiest daughter in the world!
To my work friends who made all the difference in my styling skills, contacts and experiences you are the foundations of what my career is developing into. Kirsten White you above all gave me my first break as a stylist and I will NEVER forget that day you called me and not only hired me but gave me exactly what I needed to know to do a good job. Marie Eve Tremblay for taking me on for 6 months and literally putting me through assistant boot camp, I would not have the work drive and passion I have now if it wasn’t for you. Laura DiMarcantonio for taking me on as your assistant and teaching me on set etiquette and what is expected of me. Patrick Lacsina and Amanda Blair Robson for being the very first creative I’ve ever done, you two have been so good to me and I love all the work we’ve created together this year. Bri and Britt of Jane & Jane for constantly blowing my mind with your creativity and excitement whenever we have a project together, you two always inspire me to be better and more creative. Thomas Dagg for talking shop with me, bringing me on a short film, photographing my dad while sailing and showing me that I can indeed get my photo taken. Julie and Brianna for helping me put together my mums modelling portfolio, you girls have no idea how much that shoot meant to me and my mum. Erin Heather for being an amazing make up artist and having many late night chats about the industry and making me feel like I wasn’t alone as an artist. Joe at Fresh Collective for being such an amazing person to work with, spending 8 hours with you singing Wilson Phillips songs and making hilarious jokes has been a highlight for me. Getting a part time job seemed like a step backwards at first but fuck am I ever glad I ended up with you. And of corse Keira of Handsome & Lace for hiring me at such an amazing time for your business. I remember the first day we worked together in your studio, we laughed the whole time, had some inspiring deep conversations about life and the importance of doing what you want to do. You are by far the biggest drive these days and whenever I get down I think, man I bet Keira would just hop on her sewing machine and keep going and then I follow suit.
I want nothing but success to everyone I have ever worked for and with, I want all of us in 5 years to look back and be astounded and proud at all the hard work and passion we put into our own careers. I hope I know and work with all of you time and time again and we get to a point where we can all pay each other top dollars for our talents.
And last but not least to everyone that reads this blog, it’s changed so much over the past year and half now and I’m really happy with what it’s evolved into. I hope that through my fuck ups, rants, raves, and opinions some of you feel less crazy and alone in the world because your not. Not many people like to talk about the hard stuff, they focus on the pretty pictures and on the surface success but I really wanted to show people that life isn’t like that and things don’t just happen. I’ve read a lot of blogs that seem to paint this beautiful picture that their lives are full of free gifts, clothing, trips and wonderful things but underneath all that are people that have really pushed themselves to live the life they want. I just happen to show the gritty shit, the break downs, the drinking sprees, and the constant self doubt of being an artist. I’ve gained more readers in the past couple months since I’ve taken the honesty route and I couldn’t be happier. Sometimes it’s really hard putting myself on this because I really can’t control who reads it, but then again maybe I needed that to really stop caring what people think. I have the people I want around me in life and I’m unapologetic about what I write on here because its real, I don’t lie and I don’t make up shit just to get followers. It’s funny how a person could literally follow my entire life last year just by reading through this blog. I’ve had moments where people have come up to me at parties and hugged me because of something I wrote about which is a pretty crazy thing, but I love it and I goon out over it.

So here’s to 2014, the year I make my bitch!

I love you all, your all Honey Bears in my book!

P.S
Top four of Handsome&Lace photos care of Jane&Jane Photography
Picture of my mum care of Modelight photography
Two of me dancing and Branko and Tyler hugging care of Keiran Meyn photography

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Dance

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Right now I’m sitting in my empty apartment, in my bed writing for the first time in two weeks…life’s been a bit unbalanced lately and I’m making a valiant effort to change this. The last two weeks I’ve been working everyday on either my styling career, my sewing, or my not so part time job dressing women in local designers. I’ve had to step it up to make up for a slow two months however like my life seems to go, it didn’t just rain, it poured. I got hired to style a Down With Webster music video that had me in the back of a cube van in minus 8 degrees weather. Luckily I had an amazing crew and everyone eventually got to seek refuge in a church where we set up base for the rest of the shooting. It felt so good to be back on set and shortly after that I assisted another four harlequin novel shoots the following week. There were some mornings where I had to double check which job I was going to that day and some had three jobs in a 14 hour run…I drank far too much red wine and smoked too many cigarettes at midnight than I want to admit during those weeks.
On my down time I sit at home and sew wondering where my social life went, I have become a workaholic with the constant feeling I’m not going very far. I feel like I’m stretching myself too thin and even though I’m busy I’m not actually feeling myself moving forward in the direction that I want. The funny thing is that I know I’m changing a lot lately internally, I’m starting to actually stand by the things I believe in, I’m acting on the feelings I feel and I’m walking away from things that don’t make me feel good. I still feel a little like I’m testing out a new hardware inside my head and I surprise myself with my new thinking pattern. I really like having my alone time, I think I really need that time to check in with myself, to make sure I’m doing what I want to do and being who I want to be. I really depend on myself these days and its an amazing thing, I don’t crave someone to look after me and I don’t expect it. It sounds cheesy but if I got into a relationship any time soon all I would want would be to be wanted and not needed. That’s realistically what I’ve been looking for, someone who really just wants a companion in their life not someone to look after. I’ve learned from my past that in order to find the right person and be ready for them you have to know yourself and be happy with being who you are. Having ambition I think really helps with moving a relationship forward, another thing I learned is that if you don’t move forward in your own life that connection with someone won’t move either. You have to be honest, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and risk that terrifying thought of it not working out because it just might work, life’s funny like that. Everyone is scared, everyone has a little baggage but being able to let that go and really get to know a person is a pretty lovely thing. It’s something I spent months avoiding and it only left me feeling empty and more lonely. I always thought telling someone how you felt even if it was just a little hint of something was best expressed in subtle mind games and flirtatious encounters when realistically it’s easier just to tell them, ya know that whole truth thing. It’s easier just to say it and I know some of you are swallowing hard at the thought of this but coming from experience its not that bad. Sure I felt sick to my stomach for a short time, I smoked three cigarettes in a row before hand, I felt like the biggest dork on the face of the planet…but I was a honest dork and I’m fine with that. Things move so fast in life that sometimes you miss your chance, it turns into a regret and you’re stuck with this little piece of you that asks “what if”?
These are just a few things that have been on my mind lately. I’ve been going over things that I want in my life for 2014 and its really making me shift my actions and where I want to put my time and effort. Maybe even who I want to be with, I mean I can’t really choose, nobody can and that’s the magic of two people coming together. It’s that effortless dance that you do with someone that doesn’t seemed pushed, doesn’t seem overwhelming, just a lovely natural comfort in each others company. That to me is worth the work I do on myself, to comfortably be able to allow that dance to happen and I think I’m starting to warm up to the idea. But again I’m a hopeless romantic and ill keep spending my days building my own castle until time thinks I’m ready to have a guest over. The nice thing is that lately I’ve been feeling more open than I have in years, I’m feeling like taking more chances with the way I feel and not pushing them down and calling them silly. I’m already a pretty silly woman, I can never seem to control what comes out of my mouth sometimes, I’m very impulsive however I have this idea that those impulsive actions lead to good things…most of the time. I’m not second guessing myself anymore and I know if I feel something it either needs to be said or expressed regardless of the outcome because at least then I know I was a complete moron or I was hitting the nail on the head.
Things at the apartment have been as crazy as they’ve ever been with lots of lady night wine shit shows, a collective of Kate moments which include finding her passed out in her coat at a bar, her spilling wine on my bed more times then I bothered to count and many “surprise” farts which I still think are strategically planned. We have our dearest pal Branko staying with us again which has been awesome since he’s been on the road for the past month with his band Dinosaur Bones and Brendan Canning. I don’t how he goes from living on the road that long to having to come back to “real” life and get back to all the other things he does around town. He’s such a positive friend to have around and I think this time in our lives everybody needs a little help from their friends. I love that I will look back on this time and smile knowing I had the most creative, hilarious, loving friends around me that helped me gain the energy I needed to do what I love and make my life meaningful. That’s really what we are all searching for, something meaningful, maybe go as far as everything meaningful. Have that home that makes you want to go home to, have those friends that make you want to always call on, have that companion you never get tired of loving more, and have that career you built for yourself out of passion and purpose. That’s life for me, that’s the dream and I am closer to it than I ever have been. I might have a ways to go but I can see it unfolding even in the craziness of making mistakes it’s all adding up to a very amazing sum.
I don’t know about any of you but I’m so excited for 2014, it’s the launch pad year for all of us that have gone through so much change in the last couple years. I can finally close the door on a lot of things and use the skills, contacts, and experience I worked so hard to get to make my life exactly the way I want it. It’s all possible, and yes in about 5 days ill come back on here and write about how fucking hard this all is and that I’m spending the next week on my couch eating pad Thai and proclaiming I’m going to be single forever. Lets not forget that I am a woman and therefore insane and furthermore a constant roller coaster of accomplishments and onset heart palpitations in social situations and domestic responsibilities. No more should have done thats, fuck off to could haves and would do’s, it’s all pointless phrases that only hold us back from being who we want to be. This year I want to be even more fearless, I want to be smarter with my time and build on things that really matter, kick the other shit to the curb. It’s time to become a semi adult making creatively responsible decisions and I say semi adult because let’s get real I still play dress up at least once a week and I smoke pot in order to clean my house…the whole adult thing is still pending.

Well Ill leave you with this quote my mentor said to me about a year ago…

Do the things you always dreamed you could do because everything in this life started as just a dream.

Happy Friday Lovelies

– Casey Jane

Tunes

The Damnwells – I will keep the bad things from you
Andrew Bird – Three White Horses
Foals – Stepson
Tim Noyes – Saturday
Wake Owl – Wild Country

Winos & Wanderers

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I wish I had a constant camera on me so at the end of every week I could sit down with a cheap Shiraz and watch myself create my life and live it. In a way that’s what this blog is, when I’m in my forties ill get to read over this and realize how insanely determined I was to live the life I wanted. It’s not easy, I know I talk about that a lot but I can’t stress enough the hard reality of becoming what you want to be. It’s lonely a lot of the time, I’m always working with new people which is amazing but I don’t have an office, I don’t have the same people I see everyday and I’m completely in my own head most of the time.
At the same time I love surrounding myself with people, mainly my friends because they are the ones that know me, they care about me and I want to spoil them all constantly! I daydream about being successful and being able to treat my friends, help them make their dreams, and creating even crazier adventures…not that we don’t all have those. This summer alone has been filled with photo shoots, pool hopping, scaling buildings to drink on roof tops, beach days, late night bike rides, and dancing with Kate to 90’s music alone in our apartment.
That part of my life is solid, my career is moving along at its own perfect pace whether I like it or not, and my personal life…well I’ve got some bugs to work out still. I feel like I’m constantly putting myself behind glass with men, I’ve changed a lot in the last year and it freaks me out knowing where my head is at these days. Commitment scares the shit out of me, the idea of creating anything other then art just gets my stomach in knots and I could be a little jaded…just a little. Now I’m not trying to say I’m a raging she hulk and every man should watch his step, I love the company of men and Im actually quite fond of the ones I’ve met. For me, right now I’m starting to see that it’s ok to have fun and want what you want. I’m being honest with myself and sometimes that comes at a price, I’m sure I’ve made a couple guys run away in the last little while but I know it was for the best…at least I think so. I could be completely wrong on this whole topic, I wouldn’t say I’m a scholar at being single, I’m more like a drunk freshman. Just an affectionate ball of goof, that’s typically what I am most of the time but on the days I pull back I’m a quiet little thinker. What I really like is being myself and watch which people stick around and which slip away, it’s a great thing because you end up landing in the company of really incredible people. I think that’s what I like best about being single, being fancy free little ol me and whoever wants to partake in it has to believe in who I am.
In my quest for my career I’m learning a lot about patience and knowing my place in it all. Assisting has taught me so many valuable things about the industry and becoming a professional wardrobe stylist. I learn so much from my Stylists and I’m forever grateful for their honesty and guidance, not to mention allowing me to make a living off what I love to do. I’ve learned to harness my focus in a sometimes chaotic environment, there is a lot of attention that’s needed to do a good job as an assistant. At the end of a shoot where I know I’ve done well I practically collapse once I get home into a giggling ball of insanity. It really takes a lot out of me but only when I’ve put my all into it and in the last month I’ve learned to focus and stay in the moment on shoots. Work is picking back up again and my bank account is pawning for the refill, it’s a struggle sometimes but I try not to let it get to me. I’m a very lucky lady and yea I sometimes eat toast for three days straight, I wash my underwear in my kitchen sink, and I use cinnamon as blush when I run out of makeup. But it’s all worth it, I have a beautiful apartment in the best neighbourhood, I’m living with my best friend and comedy partner and I’m learning how to become a wardrobe stylist! Ya, no complaints here.
The photos above are from I shoot I did with the lovely Jane & Jane and Erin Heather. Our beautiful Model Jocelyn had so much energy and really brought out the personality of the clothing. I pulled from designers Laura Siegel and Emily Woudenberg both who I admire a lot. When I was just starting out Laura and I had a phone conversation where she gave me some pretty amazing advice when I needed it the most. This shoot meant a lot to me because I never would have imagined being able to style with her clothing and yet just 8 months later here we are. It just goes to show how far you can go if you dream big, I had this quiet little thought in my head when I first spoke to Laura just wishing one day I could collaborate with her.
And then it happened.

I’m off to Bellwoods to meet Kate, keep dreaming k?

– Casey Jane

It’s Fall Romance and Im Eating Pad Thai in Bed

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Fall is here, it’s getting colder and my new duvet is getting harder and harder to leave every morning. The pumpkin spice lattes are filling in every woman’s efforts of the Victoria Secret body from the summer, couples are making me want to vomit and I’m finding myself wondering what the fuck happened to my soft side.
I’d probably feel better about it if I had the bank account to back me up, instead of a recycling bin full of take out boxes and magnum Sola and Nero wine bottles. You’d think I was trying to drown out something but honestly for the first time in ten years I’m quite content with my overtly single mindset. I used to rack my brain around how to be the perfect girl for a man, it was all about them, their lives, their hobbies and their dreams. I wanted to dress for them, laugh for them, bat my newt eyes in the perfect way and all it left me with was an insane insecurity problem and a box of tissues next to a text message battle that left me feeling like a loser.
Now I spend my weeks chasing my dreams while looking like a bag lady running across queen west with my suit cases in ten dollar pants and value village heels. Day after day my bullshit meter becomes more heightened and I’m starting to have a very low tolerance for people I don’t like and an even lower tolerance for people that don’t like me. I don’t need to impress people, I don’t need to chase people and I certainly don’t need to put up with it. I think we all spend a lot of time trying to impress people that realistically are not our types and I’m not talking about just men, I’m talking about the whole human race of assholes and bitches. There is absolutely no point in trying to be something you’re not and there’s no point in trying to hide who you are. It’s a ticking time bomb, it’s like trying to mask the fact you took a huge dump with perfume and a curtesy flush…you’re shits still gonna stink.
On weekends I indulge myself in the glorious company of my closest girlfriends, dance until 2 am with my guy friends and end the nights entertaining the idea of either calling someone or eating a sandwich…lately the sandwich is winning. I’ve given up the chase of a relationship, it’s not something my brain can hold down long enough, but maybe it’s just the fact that I could care less. If a man wants to spend time with me than I’d rather act like my clumsy, idiotic, and loud self. If they like me great, if not than great because at least I’m not having a battle in my head of why he won’t call and why I said I liked organized sports.
I’m working on my career, I’m writing like a mad woman and I’m trying to figure out how to get myself out of 3 dollar heels and into some Jimmy Choo’s that are not made in china town. I’m working on my big break and the scary part is that I have no idea where it’s going to come from and what form it’ll be in. The one thing I keep telling my over reactive brain is to just keep doing what I love, do it well and be confident that it’s ok to have a weekly addiction to late night Pad Thai binges. There’s nothing sexier then a woman who has a themed day called fat fuck Sunday and does what she wants…right?
The photos above are of my recent shoot with Jane & Jane Photography and I am obviously to the moon about them. I used two designers jewelry pieces for this shoot, the talented Seema Patel and Sonia Kang both whom I strongly suggest you check out. Also my lovely Erin Heather was holdin down the make up and hair, I mean ladies is this not the hottest “caught in the rain hair” you’ve ever seen? I look like a drowned rat on stilts…
Well my lovelies I’m off to dabble in the sunshine of Queen west and Kensington Market and no I’m not going to buy knock off Jimmy’s…ill patiently wait for the real deal, life’s just better when you let it unfold the way it’s supposed to.

Happy Monday

-Casey Jane

Handsome & Lace

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Another week and my heads spinning with ideas, thoughts and feelings. You know that feeling when you listen to a new band and it automatically brings out the exact tempo of your current situation? That’s been this week and last for me, a constant soundtrack that plays out with the beat of my feet on queen wests pavement.
Kmo and I are incredibly smitten in our new home, a dream that’s been waiting to unfold for ten years and I don’t think either one of us has realized the ladder we’re climbing. Comedy songs are literally flying out our asses, we’re writing a book, we have a new member of our band John La Mangna who’s been incredible, and honestly I’m having the time of my life. The other night as I was reenacting a scene from dirty dancing I thought maybe I’m having too much fun. Is life supposed to be this fun? Can it be this simple? Why do I question life when it gets good, maybe cause I always feel like the rug is going to be pulled out from under me.
Work has been a little odd, things are happening at their own perfect pace and it’s freaking me out. I’m actually doing everything I want to and it’s fucking terrifying because I want to do more, I want to do much more and I know I will. The last ten years have been leading up to this, I’ve been patiently keeping my head down and now it’s like I’ve been pushed on stage for everyone to see the play I’ve been meaning to perform.
Can’t stop, won’t stop!
There are a few things I need to settle down with, Im aware of control and I’m aware of the work ethic that this career path takes. I always rise to the occasion and so until that chance comes ill be waiting patiently creating mood boards in my room, writing, dancing, laughing, hanging out with great friends and being thankful I get to be a creative person. I just want to always make sure my friends and family know how much I adore them, they really have made this journey easier, not to mention the epic amount of support I get. I always want to be a positive person in people’s lives, I never want to take anything from them, I never want to make things difficult for anyone and I constantly want to show my love and affection for those who have stayed with me and those who are new additions. It’s a new thing for me to be able to do this, I was always a very affectionate person but not like this, now I’m open to giving and receiving and I think we all need that.
Speaking of amazing people I start a new assistant sewing job this week for a Toronto based designer Keira Morgan and her label Handsome&Lace. Gentlemen if your in the need for some beautiful handmade accessories I strongly suggest taking a look at what this amazing lady can do, I’m to the moon excited to work along side her. We’ve actually met about 6 years ago on a radio show I used to do weekly, funny enough we know a lot of the same people in the comedy world. I know what your thinking, she’s talented and funny? Where do I find these amazing people? Regardless keep it coming universe ill gladly stay open to this new field of people that flow into my life, gladly.

Happy Tuesday My Loves, and thank you for reading this little blog of mine 🙂 you’re really rad, I hope you know that!

Here are some tunes that literally set the mood for my life right now, enjoy!

The 1975 – She Way Out
The 1975 – Settle Down
Boy & Bear – Southern Sun
The Rolling Stones – Miss you
Otis Redding – These arms of mine
The 1975 – Chocolate

Getting off the guilt train

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I’ve been stressing hard about my career lately, it’s not a bad thing but when you make your own path it can be REALLY hard to gage whether you’re doing all you can or not. Is it ok to let things unfold and not have a heart attack over your empty email box? I have a habit of thinking being under stress is a sign your working hard…is it? I’m only still an assistant and that’s amazing but sometimes I guilt myself into thinking I’m not good enough, especially when I screw up on something that now seems so obvious. But that’s just it, when you start out on something your not going to be the best, you have this drive to keep humble because you’re going to fail..a lot.
Then you get those times where you amaze yourself, you do an amazing job and everyone is happy and you fall down at home in a half crazed laugh. I’ve had these times happen quite close to each other and my one mistake was I didn’t hold on to the momentum of the accomplishment, lost focus and decided I knew what I was doing..
HA!
Big idiot for the win!
I was promptly put in my place by life, if it was a real life scenario I’d have my head in a toilet being held down by 8th grade behemoth I called wide load. It’s humbling, really really humbling and you know I’m happy it happened and I had the awareness to smarten up. This is an amazing career path filled with amazingly inspiring people who have had the heart to teach me, and yea I’m a rookie and so I should know that.
I’m ready again to hit the ground running, knowing a whole lot more, but all this takes time. In the mean time I’ve been updating my portfolio, setting up creatives, reading, and writing. Kate and I are happy happy in our new apartment, to be honest we’ve been having too much fun.
The last week we’ve been writing new material for an upcoming project for our comedy duo Cashmo, it feels soo good to get back to comedy. We went through all our old note books and found some insanely good stuff…we are going to hell but hey at least we get to make people laugh.
Here are some moments that happened this past week:
On Friday Kate came home from The Drake Hotel after consuming two bottles of red wine at dinner with a friend of hers, she then joined me in a bottle before we were supposed to go dancing. My dear friends DJ a dance night at Supermarket in Kensington and so I watched as Kate tried to put heels on and drink wine at the same time. I laughed and said they wouldn’t let her into the bar if she couldn’t walk, she then b lined it to her bed and yelled “I JUST NEED WATER” and then starfished halfway onto her bed with her feet sticking out. I went out and danced the night away with friends and returned home riding on the back of a boys bike. When I entered our apartment I found dear Kmo in the exact same position I left her in…I checked for breathing and got one heel off before starfishing in my own bed.
Yesterday we went to Bellwood’s park and wrote a new song called “Date Night” which is all about being incredibly awkward on a date but thinking you’re owning it…story of my life. We sipped beers and thought of the worst possible things either we’ve done or are bound to happen. After that we met some friends before heading down to my dads boat for happy hour. I started to feel anxious, guilty that this is how I spend my week. Kmo had a good point though, why not? Why can’t it be this good? Why can’t we put our efforts and talents into what we WANT to do…she’s right. I’m so used to the struggle that it’s strange to me when life is giving me what I need. So after that we walked up Bathurst to our humble neighbourhood and ended the night making epic grilled cheese.

Life’s funny guys, just keep doing what you love to do and make a living out of it. I hear that a lot from successful people, they have failed, they have struggled but they never gave up. They worked hard at whatever they loved to do and didn’t take it for granted, I think that’s success…maybe.

And now I’m off to meet Kmo to create some opportunities and make jokes about poo…

Happy Wednesday Lovelies

Tunes
Lo-Fang – #88
Grouplove – Ways to Go
1975 – She Way Out
Marcus Foster – Love in the Way

Whirlwind

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Since my last post I feel like my feet haven’t stopped moving, I’ve been on a whirlwind of working. Over the weekend I shot a creative that I have been putting together for a month now, it was kind of like my baby. It went amazing, I wasn’t worried considering the amazing people I worked alongside and the beautiful locations that were selected.
On the holiday Monday I got to take some time and head out to the Toronto Island for some beach time, the tunes were blasting, and the weather was perfect. Way back when I used to live on the island, those were some of the best days of my life, I miss them sometimes.
Once the week started I was picked up by Marie Eve (my boss) and we began work on a commercial we are styling. I’m blown away with how hard Marie Eve works and it inspires me to push myself. I love learning from someone who is not only a professional, but someone who has so much passion and love for what they do. We’ve spent the last three days collecting outfits, shopping, and organizing fittings for the talent. It’s been long days but I barely notice the time until I hit my apartment and realize how many hours its been.
I’m not going to lie I’m learning a lot of valuable lessons through this new job and the tolls it can take on you emotionally. Being on a creative high all day has its downside, especially if you have anything else on your mind. It’s draining to put so much energy and feeling into a job, it’s rewarding, but if your not used to the come down it can be intense. I’ve had some financial difficulty over the past little while, establishing yourself and making a career transition can put the old bank account in a choke hold. However that’s why I’m on my lovely Mums couch for the time being so that I can build my dream job and make it a reality without fear of being evicted. I’m ok with this, it’s what everyone goes through in their twenties and the end result will be far greater then the struggle. The fight does take it out of me, having to walk from one side of the city to the other, stretching twenty dollars over the week, and going somedays with absolutely nothing. It’s tough, but I still believe that it will be worth it…this all has to be worth it.
I really hope I’m right, I know there are obvious things I can change to better my situation and I am doing them. Freelance is a hard thing to be really good at, you learn and fuck up everyday, you also grow and become more resourceful. Obstacles become less of a fear and more of a common day to day occurrence, I’ve become a lot better at being persistent. Maybe I’m just bat shit crazy, something tells me this is half of what you need to get into this business, the other half is just a deep routed idea that there is nothing that makes you happier then professionally doing your passion.

That’s all from me today lovelies

– Casey Jane