The Night Casey Jane Entered Stage Left and The Symphony Was Drunk.

unnamed unnamed (1) unnamed (2) unnamed (3) unnamed (4)SMASH…

Enter stage left Ms Casey Jane sauntering into a bar after drinking a reverends wife’s yearly supply of wine. Thats 2 bottles and a magnum if you are wondering.The magnum is only when she holds her yearly Tupperware party with the ladies from her knitting club. Agnes is a REAL lush bag when they get into a biblical debate.We however drank all this before midnight, I even wore heels. Mainly because I wore them all day with no socks and didn’t want to alert the authorities that a dead body had been dumped on Queen West.

Entourage enters stage left consisting of one life partner named Justin Edwards. My incredible gay go getter that makes me feel like I’m fucking queen of the world, I also occasionally buy him brunch.
Its a rule between gay/straight life partners.
He took to the party like a conductor at a symphony and left on a man hunt faster than the road runner did when the coyote was getting too close. He’s also designing my apartment so he’s pretty much the full package and he’s mine you cant have him!

Our love is immaculate.

Anyway, I walked in thinking I would spend my time yelling derogatory slurs at my bar tending roommate. I thought I would sit down next to Meghan and get slapped and told how much she loved me. Hell I thought I would end up hammered in front of my oven cursing at it to make my pizza pockets faster.

And then, as if it was as natural as anything I sat down next to him.

Have you ever forgotten something? Like completely? Then out of the blue someone says something, shows you something or just is something and you wonder how you ever forgot it?

Funny isn’t it.

Over on Berkeley St I’ve become in love with putting my key in the door of my office every morning. Turning on the music, the lights, and now that spring is here opening the door to let the long awaited breeze flow in. The guys play fooseball late afternoon while the girls sit around our lounge area talking about escorts and prostitutes over lunch. We’re an amazing bunch that are creating extremely great work. The prostitute conversation expanded because of a mutual love for Pretty Woman, I mean Richard Gere…
COME ON!
I’d totally allow kissing.

Creative meetings, pitches, hallway conversations, conference calls filled with laughing and ideas. Our office is alive and I couldn’t be happier with where I am in life right now.

The homestead is still filled with the insanities of Casey and Tim trying to adult. We found out we have mice, so thats been fun. I keep naming them and then making a personal relationship with them, only I hate them.

Its hate.

Its a hate relationship.

Fred’s the worst cause he just sits in my kitchen staring at me like a smug fuck head.

The girls and I spent saturday getting day drunk and going to our friend Evely’s birthday party. We met for brunch and after the waitress feared we were getting sober poured us each a glass of wine all the way to the top. We ended up buying a birthday present consisting of a plant named Stuart McDick, a bouquet of Pussy Willows and a 4L box of white wine.

Looking back on it now its not a surprise the three of us ended up in a kiddy park trying to drive pedal cars…

Thats what the warm weather brings around here, well not belligerent females defacing a children’s playground. It just brings out life a little more, it brings people together longer and more intimate. My heart sings a lot louder when the sun hits my face when I crash out of my apartment at the start of the day. Warm weather means later nights in parks, longer sits on patios and backyard get togethers that make me you smile from the inside out. It also reminds me every single day I open my deer in headlight eyes that…

I am one lucky fucking bitch.

Spring is here Toronto.

Thanks for reading loves.

Tunes

Lord Huron – Meet Me In The Woods  My favourite album right now, in the words of my dear Kmo “Its my fucking favourite.”

Andy Shauf – Hometown Hero

Lord Huron – Luisa         Again, My fucking favourite.

Leon Bridges – River

Father John Misty – When You’re Smiling and Astride Me

Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors – American Beauty 

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Handsome & Lace

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Another week and my heads spinning with ideas, thoughts and feelings. You know that feeling when you listen to a new band and it automatically brings out the exact tempo of your current situation? That’s been this week and last for me, a constant soundtrack that plays out with the beat of my feet on queen wests pavement.
Kmo and I are incredibly smitten in our new home, a dream that’s been waiting to unfold for ten years and I don’t think either one of us has realized the ladder we’re climbing. Comedy songs are literally flying out our asses, we’re writing a book, we have a new member of our band John La Mangna who’s been incredible, and honestly I’m having the time of my life. The other night as I was reenacting a scene from dirty dancing I thought maybe I’m having too much fun. Is life supposed to be this fun? Can it be this simple? Why do I question life when it gets good, maybe cause I always feel like the rug is going to be pulled out from under me.
Work has been a little odd, things are happening at their own perfect pace and it’s freaking me out. I’m actually doing everything I want to and it’s fucking terrifying because I want to do more, I want to do much more and I know I will. The last ten years have been leading up to this, I’ve been patiently keeping my head down and now it’s like I’ve been pushed on stage for everyone to see the play I’ve been meaning to perform.
Can’t stop, won’t stop!
There are a few things I need to settle down with, Im aware of control and I’m aware of the work ethic that this career path takes. I always rise to the occasion and so until that chance comes ill be waiting patiently creating mood boards in my room, writing, dancing, laughing, hanging out with great friends and being thankful I get to be a creative person. I just want to always make sure my friends and family know how much I adore them, they really have made this journey easier, not to mention the epic amount of support I get. I always want to be a positive person in people’s lives, I never want to take anything from them, I never want to make things difficult for anyone and I constantly want to show my love and affection for those who have stayed with me and those who are new additions. It’s a new thing for me to be able to do this, I was always a very affectionate person but not like this, now I’m open to giving and receiving and I think we all need that.
Speaking of amazing people I start a new assistant sewing job this week for a Toronto based designer Keira Morgan and her label Handsome&Lace. Gentlemen if your in the need for some beautiful handmade accessories I strongly suggest taking a look at what this amazing lady can do, I’m to the moon excited to work along side her. We’ve actually met about 6 years ago on a radio show I used to do weekly, funny enough we know a lot of the same people in the comedy world. I know what your thinking, she’s talented and funny? Where do I find these amazing people? Regardless keep it coming universe ill gladly stay open to this new field of people that flow into my life, gladly.

Happy Tuesday My Loves, and thank you for reading this little blog of mine 🙂 you’re really rad, I hope you know that!

Here are some tunes that literally set the mood for my life right now, enjoy!

The 1975 – She Way Out
The 1975 – Settle Down
Boy & Bear – Southern Sun
The Rolling Stones – Miss you
Otis Redding – These arms of mine
The 1975 – Chocolate

The Weaker-than

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If anyone ever tells you that your mid twenties will be a breeze should be slapped in the facecloth a bag of Rama noodles. It’s an incredible time to fail miserably and try and gather all the learning from said failure. The last week has been tough and I’ve had to be humbled by the reality that I’m still learning how to do my job, how to work and live as freelance, and I’m still learning how to, what’s that word?
…budget.
It’s been tough, exciting and relentlessly challenging the last month. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and go back to waiting tables…which isn’t the worst thing but I can’t and I won’t. I’m someone who is really hard on themselves as far as maturity and what I expect from myself, I rarely give myself a pat on the back because its usually never enough.
I always go to my superiors for advice and the same thing is said to me,
“Case, its about persistence, patience, and passion.”
And that’s about it, you chose what you want to do in life, everyday you make choices that either move you forward or keep you in one spot. I could choose to walk away from this, attempt to get a desk job where I have my own cubical and the anticipation of a beer lunch on Fridays. I have every power to just say no this is silly and a waste of time, I’m not the best so why struggle?
I can’t…there’s a point where no matter how scary and hard the road ahead looks its far greater then the knowledge of giving up.
I read this article the other day that called my generation “The Peter Pan” generation (25-35 year olds) we are a bunch of lost boys and girls. We don’t want to commit to anything, we don’t want to become our parents, we don’t want to buy a house, and we certainly can’t even fathom the thought of children…that word makes my lady bits want to run and hide. It’s true, I see it in my friends, myself, I see it in past relationships and the way our culture is nowadays. We don’t want to give up our youthful freedom to become our over worked parents that are from of generation of high divorce rates and mortgages. We have all the possibilities in the world and we are told that daily, we can create our own jobs from the passions we carry.
Honestly…Never Never Land never looked so inviting.
Now there are a few of us that have joined the ranks. They have smartened up to reality and realized they’d rather do something that makes them money and you know…a future. They get to go to Ibiza once a year, have a nice car and a sweet pad in liberty village. Some of them buckled down in their early twenties and got the job they thought or actually wanted and to you I tip my cap!
I did not do any of the above, I was running around Toronto performing in comedy troupes and drinking away my paycheques thinking I was an artist…I was and still am, however now I’m 26 and I feel like my clocks ticker is getting louder. I bounced around too many times, I didn’t stick with something long enough for it to become anything more then a gig. I supported myself through it all and obviously did not give two shits about future Casey, she seemed lame and unimportant. Now I look back at past Casey and I wish I could hit her in her free spirited face.
I was trying to figure what to write about since I haven’t posted anything in two weeks, I wanted to talk about all the exciting things I’ve done. I wanted to talk about how much fun it is living with my best friend Kmo, how I have an insanely fun social life, and how I’m personally figuring out what it is I want for me right now. I have a group of girl friends that keep me alive (literally) and keep me laughing through all the tough times. I have a group of guy friends that keep my life exciting and fun, not to mention they are all complete sweethearts, I’ve never pool hopped so much in my life!
There are many many things I’m grateful for and sometimes I forget that life is amazing and things will get easier and harder at the same time…that’s life and we’ve just been spoiled with the thought that we can have it all. Maybe we can, maybe that’s why so many of us are struggling because we just want the exact life we painted in our minds. Hopefully 5 years from now I can look back at all this and laugh, call myself a whiney bitch and sit back knowing that it was all worth it.

So if any of you are feeling the pressures of a career that’s not traditional, a rent that is a monthly heart attack, and a life that seems like a constant struggle, be thankful for it. I am everyday and though I give myself mild anxiety and feel like a tragic beat poet I wouldn’t want any other life. Ill get by as does everyone else, ill learn to work harder and smarter, and ill get there eventually because Rome wasn’t built in day and neither is a career.

Persistence, Patience, and Passion.

Happy Wednesday Lost Boys and Girls

Xoxo
– Casey Jane

And then life happened

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I’m sitting here in my empty new apartment, I made myself a cup of tea and walked over from my mums place. It’s bizarre knowing that I have this place to call my own for the next little while and it’s amazing that ill get to sleep in my bed in two weeks. I spent the last five months falling onto my mums couch, dealing with four suitcases full of clothes constantly, and having to succeed and fail a number of times before somewhat getting it right.
Shit is hitting the fan in my life, well replace the shit with like, rainbows or cookies, I suppose there is a better analogy to explain how this past week has gone. After my birthday I wrote out some goals, financial ones mainly and some to help kick old habits. I’ve been so focused on the moment that I forgot that planning for your future is just as important. I sometimes live too much in the moment and don’t bother to think about consequences until they smack me in the face usually in the form of a bank statement or a date gone terribly wrong.
Life is constantly making my existence worth it, I’m getting to see my purpose on this confusing and massive planet. Somedays I want it to be bigger, I want my life to go to places I never imagined. Somedays I want it all to pause, I feel like I don’t have time to even catch my breath, but those are the moments when I feel the most alive. The difference nowadays is that I’m planning my life out, I’m like pinky and the brain lately, plotting world domination only instead of a mind control device I have a Laura Siegel cape and a pair of Jeffery Campbell Franz boots.
Here are some things I’m excited to do now that I have my own place again
1. Eat, sleep, drink, fart, laugh, cry, and possibly have sex (lack of fart and food crumbs permitting) in my bed.
2. Be able to find that specific shirt I want to wear without going through 4 suitcases and a dresser. I have a MASSIVE closet in my new room…my credit card having a retail orgasm at the moment.
3. Have my friends over for dinner parties, games night, French club, and everything else I love doing when people come over.
4. Walk around in my underwear, I still do that at my mums place but I don’t get very good reception.
5. GO HOME! I haven’t felt like I’ve had a home in 8 months, I’ve been flying around this city for work, play, and a place to sleep. I’m so excited to have my little spot to call home again, with all my weird nick nacks, my tea cup collection, my artwork, and my many 80s DVDs I bought in bulk from a garage sale.

That’s all from me right now darlin’s, thanks to everyone for all your love and support…I honestly can’t tell you how grateful I am for all this, well I could…wait I did, why do people say that phrase? I am grateful, there…Why can’t I just make things simple?

Love you all and happy Wednesday, the two pictures above with the models are two shoots I did with Patrick Lacsina, Amanda Blair Robson and Elmer Olsen agency. Also I worked with Jane & Jane again on a collaboration featuring Laura Siegels FW2013 and Emily Woundenburg, both extremely talented Canadian designers. Ill have the whole story up in a couple weeks, but check them out and support our creative friends!

Xoxo
– Casey Jane

Apartment Hunting & Styling

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This has been my life since I’ve gotten back from a much needed vacation, it’s been quiet at times but I haven’t had one day where I didn’t have something to get done. I’m running almost everyday again with Tobi frolicking at my side, I think he bounds more then frolics. I have five styling shoots this month which is amazing but also takes a lot of planning and time. I’ve been making mood boards all over the walls of my bedroom, I find when I surround myself with them the ideas become more natural and embedded in my head. I love working and creating a shoot, it’s a process that I am getting better and better at and it’s nice to know that I am progressing.
The rest of the week has been dedicated to apartment hunting…and it’s slowly driving me crazy. I went and saw a place at the beginning of the week, it was in a building off of Roncevalles which is the area I really want to live in. I had walked by this building everyday when I lived in parkdale a few years ago, I imagined myself living there, I built it up in my head for a long time. Obviously when I saw the apartment, even if it was on the small side, I had to have it. I forgot one rule about finding and getting an apartment, if you really want it you have to be prepared. I didn’t bother to bring my reference letters, or cash, or well anything, alI I had was a pen to sign the application form. I got so worked up about seeing the place I forgot that their might be someone else interested in it…and there was, there was A LOT of people.
A girl around my age happily gave the man showing the place all her paper work and a cash deposit , my heart sank and I must have walked ten city blocks to keep myself from breaking down. I went home and sulked in my kitchen with a glass of wine for the rest of the night, I couldn’t believe that the apartment of “my dreams” had been taken away by someone else. I woke up the next morning feeling silly about how I acted, of course I didn’t get the place, I wasn’t prepared and I didn’t put anything in place in order to get it. I had to let it go and move on, it clearly was not meant to be and I tried to fight for something that wasn’t going to happen.
I know my little apartment is out there somewhere, it’s tough in this city to find a decent place that’s dog friendly and in the neighbourhood I want, but I’m determined to find a home for Tobi and I. The two things I learned from all this is be prepared, have all your ducks in a row and your head in the right space, being objective is so important with finding a place that your going to come home to everyday. Another thing is to know when to let go, know when it’s not your fight, see when it really is not for you and just walk away from it and move on.
I’m taking a break from searching today, I’m going to go for a long walk with Tobi, chai latte in hand and enjoy my neighbourhood before I can’t just walk out my door to the beach. I need to get back to living in the moment and today seems like the best day to start.

Happy Sunday Lovelies

Here are some Sunday Tunes
Bon Iver – Skinny Love
Mature Themes – Baby
The Maccabees – Toothpaste Kisses
Amy Stoup & Trent Dabbs – Odds of Being Alone
Discipleship – Teen Daze