The Night Casey Jane Entered Stage Left and The Symphony Was Drunk.

unnamed unnamed (1) unnamed (2) unnamed (3) unnamed (4)SMASH…

Enter stage left Ms Casey Jane sauntering into a bar after drinking a reverends wife’s yearly supply of wine. Thats 2 bottles and a magnum if you are wondering.The magnum is only when she holds her yearly Tupperware party with the ladies from her knitting club. Agnes is a REAL lush bag when they get into a biblical debate.We however drank all this before midnight, I even wore heels. Mainly because I wore them all day with no socks and didn’t want to alert the authorities that a dead body had been dumped on Queen West.

Entourage enters stage left consisting of one life partner named Justin Edwards. My incredible gay go getter that makes me feel like I’m fucking queen of the world, I also occasionally buy him brunch.
Its a rule between gay/straight life partners.
He took to the party like a conductor at a symphony and left on a man hunt faster than the road runner did when the coyote was getting too close. He’s also designing my apartment so he’s pretty much the full package and he’s mine you cant have him!

Our love is immaculate.

Anyway, I walked in thinking I would spend my time yelling derogatory slurs at my bar tending roommate. I thought I would sit down next to Meghan and get slapped and told how much she loved me. Hell I thought I would end up hammered in front of my oven cursing at it to make my pizza pockets faster.

And then, as if it was as natural as anything I sat down next to him.

Have you ever forgotten something? Like completely? Then out of the blue someone says something, shows you something or just is something and you wonder how you ever forgot it?

Funny isn’t it.

Over on Berkeley St I’ve become in love with putting my key in the door of my office every morning. Turning on the music, the lights, and now that spring is here opening the door to let the long awaited breeze flow in. The guys play fooseball late afternoon while the girls sit around our lounge area talking about escorts and prostitutes over lunch. We’re an amazing bunch that are creating extremely great work. The prostitute conversation expanded because of a mutual love for Pretty Woman, I mean Richard Gere…
COME ON!
I’d totally allow kissing.

Creative meetings, pitches, hallway conversations, conference calls filled with laughing and ideas. Our office is alive and I couldn’t be happier with where I am in life right now.

The homestead is still filled with the insanities of Casey and Tim trying to adult. We found out we have mice, so thats been fun. I keep naming them and then making a personal relationship with them, only I hate them.

Its hate.

Its a hate relationship.

Fred’s the worst cause he just sits in my kitchen staring at me like a smug fuck head.

The girls and I spent saturday getting day drunk and going to our friend Evely’s birthday party. We met for brunch and after the waitress feared we were getting sober poured us each a glass of wine all the way to the top. We ended up buying a birthday present consisting of a plant named Stuart McDick, a bouquet of Pussy Willows and a 4L box of white wine.

Looking back on it now its not a surprise the three of us ended up in a kiddy park trying to drive pedal cars…

Thats what the warm weather brings around here, well not belligerent females defacing a children’s playground. It just brings out life a little more, it brings people together longer and more intimate. My heart sings a lot louder when the sun hits my face when I crash out of my apartment at the start of the day. Warm weather means later nights in parks, longer sits on patios and backyard get togethers that make me you smile from the inside out. It also reminds me every single day I open my deer in headlight eyes that…

I am one lucky fucking bitch.

Spring is here Toronto.

Thanks for reading loves.

Tunes

Lord Huron – Meet Me In The Woods  My favourite album right now, in the words of my dear Kmo “Its my fucking favourite.”

Andy Shauf – Hometown Hero

Lord Huron – Luisa         Again, My fucking favourite.

Leon Bridges – River

Father John Misty – When You’re Smiling and Astride Me

Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors – American Beauty 

I’m an old bitch but here’s what I’ve learned.

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Here I am ladies and gentlemen, a grown ass 27 year old lady.

I MADE IT!

Seriously though, my birthday weekend got weird, wild, and wonderful all across 4 days of late twenty something binge drinking. We danced too, I doubt it was anything to write home about. I’m sure I fell on the dance floor at least twice to the vocals of Annie Lennox. My lovely guy friends who throw the infamous F’UNREAL at The Boat in Kensington Market took to the task of making my legs fall off and my brain check out. At midnight I turned 27 on July 27th, it was here, I’m fucking closer to thirty. Promptly I headed to the bar and hoovered birthday shots like a tiny elephant. You know, to ease the realization that I have to “adult” a little more now.

Alright here comes the reflection of my age thus far.

I’ve become content with who I am, honestly, I know now that I will never be anyone else but myself. Sure, I can make improvements, I can still grow, however deep down my soul will stay the same. My personality, my hideously loud laugh, my stubbornness, and my constant quest to feel the extraordinary will never fade. I’ve stopped pulling back around people and I’ve let go of those that cause me to doubt myself. I’ve become happy with the “right now” and I except the pace my life is moving in. I’m still taking risks, however I’ve learned the ways one can protect themselves while jumping into a bed of fire.

Most importantly my friends and the people I continually meet have taught me more than I could have thought. The love, the generosity, and just the effort all my friends make to support and to be around me is immense. I can’t count how many times I’ve eaten and had a glass of wine because of Kmo. I once made it to a shoot because Sarah gave me 40 dollars to get there and back when I was broke. I’ve had Meghan pay for a night out just because she missed me and wanted us to have a great time. My lovely Liz organized our Europe tickets and made the tough call to just go for it and I adore her for that.
And there’s Branko, my forever honey bear, watch dog, and love. I’m not going to give you a list but this guy is a big part of where I am and who I am.

This is just a very small list of the beautiful humans I get to call my friends and family. I love them all for wanting to be involved in this circus of mine. Last night as the girls and I sat on a blanket after getting spoiled by Cat and her gifts from Japan. This included pancake socks, chocolate, and a full bear zip up costume.

Yes we all put on the bear costume…
And yes we all gave ourselves bear nicknames…

I really felt the love from all of us and it’s incredible to watch us all find our way. We’ve been having fun, struggling, and growing together for 14 years now and I’ll say the same thing 40 years from now.

And yes we will probably still have the bear costume handy.

This reminds me of another thing I’ve learned in the past year.
HAVE FUN ALWAYS!
Get over yourself, stop thinking you have to act a certain way, live a certain life, and do what is expected for your age bracket. Stop taking yourself so seriously because darling it looks terrible on you. Not everything in life is a networking event, competition, or interview. Things happen because you attract them not because you handed out 10 business cards at a bar you really couldn’t afford anyway.

Have impromptu dress up parties with your girlfriends, shoot BB guns at beer cans in a park with your guy friends. Meet a friend for coffee and talk about how constipated you’ve been lately. Have a night dancing in your apartment in your underwear.

What I’m saying is the possibilities are endless.

I do all these things and still have built a pretty great career so far. I’m not saying there are not moments where you need to focus. I have my crunch times where I keep my eyes ahead and do what is expected from any professional. That is the balance in order to live the life you want to live, I just see a lot of people forgetting to do the fun part.

I’m looking at you Ms Resting Bitch Face, fix it and start doing things that don’t end in a #fitspo hashtag…
Eat a fucking poutine and fart in your lulu’s already.

Again this is just my opinion, I’m not saying I have ALL the fun but what I’m saying is I make room for it to happen. Even rewarding yourself after a successful day by rolling up a joint and going to sit by the lake is enough. It keeps you happy, it keeps you moving forward, and it only strengthens your relationships with others.

That’s about it,

I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and always stay humbled by the fact that I get to wake up everyday and do everything I love to do with everyone I love.

God that’s cheesy…
Kinda threw up in my mouth a bit…

K bye guys.

TUNES!

Poolside – Harvest Moon
Blood Orange – Chamakay
Still Corners – Strange Pleasures

Werkin On My Shit

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I did it again, I disappeared from my blog duties for two weeks and I apologize for that. I have this problem sometimes where I just have nothing to write about. I mean I HAVE things to write about but they haven’t been looped in my head enough. I escape into a zone where I don’t feel the need to tell everyone how I’m feeling and just live in the moment. Although I do recap the really good bits and the extremely embarrassing ones for you lovely readers.
Life is however giving me a major hard on, like a lady hard on, but one nonetheless. The last time I wrote I was on the cusp of starting a new position working along side a Canadian Designer and I’m happy to write that It happened. I’m now assisting Mark Foreman of Bionic Workshop & Boutique. I get to walk to work, Mark is an incredible boss, and I actually have money in my bank account.

Guys, I did laundry, bought groceries, AND went for a half litre of wine at Java House in the same day…
I didn’t even have a bank account heart attack…
I even bought new underwear…
And a bra…

Ok that last one was a lie because it’s not actually a bra as more of a sexy spandex sling for my chest.

Last weekend the girls ( Kate, Cat, Sarah, Meghan) and I celebrated a very special life moment, Meghan and Xan’s engagement party. Yes I have become the Kirsten Wigg of our own Bridesmaid movie and I’m coming to terms with that. It was the first time I looked around at everyone and realized this was my life family. Those people at that party are people that are going to be around years from now telling stories about when we were young. It could have been the wine talking but I felt like an adult, a real one, for the first time in my life. I mean it quickly went away when Kate and I snuck out to smoke weed behind Meghan’s parents garden shed but for that brief moment I was content with adult Casey Jane.
Now I also remember bringing up a character by the name of LG, unfortunately the dapper fellow had a few more roads to travel down. I just hope I was a nice stop over along his way, he was a breath of fresh air. That’s all I’ll say about him.
Funny thing is that I’ve got everything I need in my life, and, if anything, I need someone who’s ready to accent it. I don’t need someone who wants to paint a different picture of me, I’ve got my own paint. I’ll be 27 years old in three days and I’m ready to push my life forward in experiences, in my career, and in myself. I’ve carved a small knot in Toronto and I’m not about to stop digging deeper.
I booked a three week trip to Europe with my friend Liz in October last Thursday. This will be my first real long vacation since I went to Grenada on a post break up rehab mission two years ago. I’m going to Paris, Holland to see my people, and Berlin where I might need to transplant my liver mid week. I feel like Liz and I were meant to do this for ourselves. When we met and bonded instantly there was this underlined connection to our pasts. I think we both needed each other to motivate ourselves to take a risk and go out and experience something we didn’t think we could do. I’m the first one to hold back on big investments for myself…I mean it took me 6 months to justify buying new underwear. Now we are booked and ready to adventure in Europe. Good lord lovelies the blog posts during that time are probably going to sound like a chapter out of Naked Lunch.
I’m still learning a lot about myself, I still have scars to mend, I still fuck up weekly but I am at a time in my life where I am genuinely proud to be me. I’m glad I got kicked to the curb a few times, I’m happy I made all those terrible late night decisions, and I will NEVER regret the hundreds of 3am pizza pockets I have consumed over the last two years.

Never.

Tunes

Felix Jaehn – Shine
Kodaline – High Hopes ( Filous remix)
Francesco Yates – Call
SPOON – Do You