Fine, fine fine, I’m feeling oh so fine with my life.
Because Ive been thinking about time and how much time I have. How little time I now spend worrying, stressing out, and chasing things that are not meant to be. When you are aware of your surroundings, when you are making choices with yourself in mind, the rights things come and the wrongs things go. I’ve spent so much time wondering why things don’t work out, why every opportunity seems to fall flat, and why my feet keep going their own way. Its because its not meant to be and the quicker you come to realize this the sooner you can move on to better things. I’m not saying don’t fight for what you believe in, always fight, but know the worth of the fight. You have that choice, to just simply walk away with your goals and place them on a blank canvas again. I’ve had to rebuild my life a few times and I’m only on the verge of 27 years old. It builds a strong sense of being going through so many changes, you come out stronger every time.
I mean it, EVERYTIME.
Or else you my friend are one of those circle people. You are the stubborn, the egomaniac ones that spends their lives doing the same things over and over again. You make the same “safe” choices, you date the same men, and you make the same mistakes. Sound familiar?
Our lives move forward, let it move that way even if its terrifying. I have this feeling that a lot of people in our generation are going to have a rude awakening in the next few years. We do the same actions and expect a different outcome, we stick to the same habits and wonder why we end up in the same place.
You can’t make a pot roast and expect it to come out as a fucking cake.
So take that new route home, go flirt with that coffee guy who “isn’t your type” and stop pulling yourself back into your comfort zones. This advice is brought to you by a lady who has been shoved out of her comfort zone enough times. It usually feels like riding on a train only to be kicked off cause you didn’t have the proper ticket. You knew you didn’t have the right ticket and its a sinking feeling when you get caught. That is how I felt after realizing I had made the wrong choice, I had tried to find a loop hole instead of paying responsibly. If you ignore the signs life gives you, ignore that gut feeling, I’m afraid you will always find yourself getting chucked off moving trains.
The fun part about moving forward is the right things, the fun things, and the meaningful things become clearer. Perfect example of this was last friday when I adventured to the Toronto Island Cafe. From reading my blog you’ll know I went to an art school downtown, and you’ll know I have an incredible circle of talented friends. Zak Miller or Hummus as his nickname was, I can’t remember how that name came to be, maybe we just liked chickpeas a lot. Anyway he play’s in his band called Zakary Miller & The Filthy 5 Brass Band all around Toronto. We got lucky to watch him do his thing in a beautiful garden cafe setting, surrounded by wine and hula hoopers as the sun set slowly. My girls Cat, Meghan, Sarah and I sat around a white picnic table under twinkle lights laughing and enjoying the most lovely music coming from someone who we know and love. Zak even did an ODB rendition of “Baby I Got Your Money” which got everyone singing along. I spent most of the time just taking it all in, seeing how lucky I was and eying the smoking hot bartender that I later realized also went to high school with us. I drunkenly elbowed Sarah and pointed towards the bar but before she could roll her eyes Meghan chimed in loudly proclaiming his name and that we did indeed know him. I sank slowly behind the flower bouquet center piece and avoided eye contact with the younger pretty girls at the next table who had overheard.
Yea I get immediately shy when people find out Im checking them out and then try and act coy by sipping my wine and awkwardly laughing. I find the wine flushes my cheeks more than the embarrassment does, or I just loudly proclaim ” I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM”
The night ended with a lovely last song from Zak and his band, we all gave him a huge hug and gratefully thanked him for such an amazing evening across the lake. That is the beautiful thing about having a school that nurtured us as artists, we never forget that bond we all have. Its been almost 14 years since we all were young artists creating and figuring out who we were and what we could offer. We are still mostly all doing just that, creating and enjoying the art we were trained to do.
Remember my loves everything takes time and you have a whole lot of it. Enjoy getting out of your comfort zones, go see some live music, call an old friend, and take a chance on being out of the ordinary.
A good life takes 3 things in my opinion;
Patience, Passion, and Persistence.
Below are some tracks laid down By Zak and his band so have a listen, follow him on Facebook here and go out and see these lovelies live.
– Casey Jane