I’m constantly surprised by the learnings of life and the ever growing gratefulness I have to everything. For the past 2 years I have struggled with finding my place in it all. I’ve gone in and out of so many work spaces and carried a stress of not knowing where my next pay would come from. Lately, for the first time, I’m beginning to feel stability. It’s a slow process and realistically I won’t be completely back on my feet until July. I have to respect that and make choices that can make that goal a reality. I’m really enjoying my life and again for the first time I’m giving myself a break. The mental break downs have stopped, my night terrors haven’t happened in weeks, and the stresses of my insane singleness have vanished. I’m happy with everything that is my life right now.
I also have been living without a phone for the last two weeks.
Not in a bad way though, in a eye opening good way as it’s allowed me to be in the moment A LOT more. I hang out with the friends that still make ways to contact me knowing once I leave my house I’m in limbo. If anything my social life has become richer.
Last weekend we had our first Hanlands nude beach day over on the island. I met my friend Tim of almost 15 years at the ferry dock and it was the first time we hung out in FOREVER! Tim was my prom date and was actually my first guy friend in high school. He’s one of those friends where no matter how much time goes by it’s an instant ease into where we left off. The day was spent laughing until my face hurt, making hashtags with my friend Liz, and creating a pizza pocket salad with Tim.
This past Friday I went over to my best friend Meghan’s condo to build a #drunkassladyfort for a girls night celebration. Our friend Cat finished her chiropractic exams and even hearing her lightly talk about it made my brain hurt. We built the fort out of blankets, wrap skirts, pipe cleaners, and hair ties. No lady fort is complete without twinkle lights, flower garlands, and a shit load of wine. So there we were, 5 drunk women in their late twenties rolling around in a blanket fort on a Friday night.
On Saturday Liz and I party hopped and ended the night with me hitting and climbing parked cars with a balloon in hand…
We still don’t know how I acquired the balloon or why I turned into a drunk Bart Simpson. We had gone to a house party for drinks where her gay friend decided to call me Jane Fonda for the night. I didn’t protest as I was more interested in the wine drinking and getting into an accent mimicking war with a stranger. I came home that night at 5:30 and waited until 6am for my two pizza pockets to cook in the oven. I also burned my boob while eating them in bed and not waiting for them to cool down…
As a recent date of mine would say “classy dame”.
I actually fell on my face in my shop on our first date while closing up. On our second date I ordered a chicken sandwich that was stacked way to high for my mouth. Without thinking I took my whole hand and smushed the sandwich so that I could eat it. Needless to say I’m really staying true to the real me lately.
Styling has been slow just with my mission out of poverty and my new found love of my almost full time job. I work as a style coach for an independent retail shop that represents local and Canadian designers. I’m really working hard to find my place within the company and use everything I’ve learned to do the best job I can. It’s really sparked the idea of creating a place within a community that is supportive and doing amazing work. I love working with our local designers and branching out to better my career and theirs. I still have a lot to learned but I’m making the choices to be honest and accountable for how my life plays out. The money will follow with dedication and persistence. I’ve come out of many hardships to know that it’s only making me a stronger woman. Everyday I choose to keep going is everyday I get closer to the ideal life I want to lead.
And that’s coming from a lady that burnt her tit on a rogue pizza pocket filling.
Just keep going, accept your life for how wonderful it is, and be grateful for the people that are in your life. Listen to yourself and learn from your choices and actions to become nothing but better. This time in life is all about finding yourself so don’t rush it, don’t be impatient, it’s all coming in its own perfect time.
At least that is what I’ve come to believe.
Happy June my darlings