Now this is going to seem like a complete switch from my post earlier this week (read here) but don’t take the title as a bad thing. When I started freelancing and left my “normal” day job I struggled with being alone, father down the line I became single and had to deal with being completely alone. It was, and still is a hard thing to get used to, however I’ve learned that if your not comfortable with yourself then your really never comfortable.
A photographer friend of mine who has recently become freelance was expressing the frustration of being on everyone’s opposite schedule. It’s tough because while everyone else is working 9 to 5 you are either sitting at a cafe planning out your shoot weeks, pre shoot buying and curating, or on set until the wee hours of the morning. I know for me during the week all my friends are in bed by 10pm (except for when I can convince them to sleep when their dead).
It’s a lonely transition but I’ve certainly become a lot more comfortable and happy with being alone, I have my bad days still and that’s fine. I work through them, I write and journal where I ask myself questions that I normally, on the go, wouldn’t bring up with myself. I take myself out to lunch or dinner and catch up on reading, I try and not distract myself with my cell phone, and I exercise or run to keep my head clear. The main thing is to constantly be aware of yourself, being alone can be a negative if you just sit around and think about sad things, or lonely, or self destructive thoughts of “I should be doing this” or “Everyone else is happier because” these types of thoughts are Napalm for your mind.
Stay positive, embrace the beauty of just being one and that you are doing everything for yourself. Being in Styling has shown me all the amazing creative people that are doing the same thing, embracing loneliness because of a passion for themselves. My mentor told me once that we are forever alone in our body so why not make it a happy and comfortable place to be? That’s just it, once I realized that I’m always alone in my life and that nobody will change it, live it, and feel it for me, that’s when I decided to go for my passions in life and stop being afraid.
Like I said, I still get frustrated, sad, and negative but I try and stay aware of those feelings and work through them so that my creative work stays positive. Just know that you are 100% in charge of your life and it’s nobodies fault but your own if you are unhappy, you can always change what is bad to good, you just have to want it for yourself.
Happy Friday Lovelies
– Casey Jane